You deserve more

This week, I’ve found something deeply disturbing.

A lot of us hate ourselves deep inside.

That’s why we think we’re not worthy of love, or success, or of a good life.

Here’s why (and how to stop it):

Nature’s Highlights:

But first, you gotta see the beauty just a simple morning sky can have:

Have you ever dreamed of being a superhero?

Of saving the girl from your dreams?

Most of you have already remembered funny times when you’ve envisioned yourself as the superhero.

We all do it as children.

But have you ever thought about the reason we do this?

A quick law of human nature is that:

When we exaggerate something, whether in our minds, or in reality,

It’s because we lack something in the opposite direction.

Lack of confidence —> Becomes overly confident

Lack of love —> Tries getting it from everyone

Lack of power/strength —> Dreams of being a superhero

(or just straight up becomes an aggressor)

Think for a second how a child perceives the world around him.

Being a 1ft creature living in this world makes everything seem gigantic.

And, in turn, makes you seem small, and weak.

Children express their desire for power and freedom through these dreams.

And they all eventually stop,

When they realize they aren’t small anymore, they’re just like you and I.

But…I didn’t.

My superhero dream never stopped,

And my lack of confidence, love and power have all combined to make me trapped in a prison of my own mind.

Throughout the years, I’ve always dreamed of being this superhero from some anime,

The one that will always save the girl, and get the glory.

I wanted to be that superhero,

I tried believing it was real.

All because, in my mind, I NEEDED to be that superhero.

If only I had been strong enough

If only I had the power

If only I was a hero

I could have saved everyone who died in my family.

That’s what my mind’s been thinking for the past 9 years.

I was constantly blaming myself,

For the “insufficiencies” I had as a child.

Those insufficiencies being I wasn’t a fucking wizard that could save my father from cancer.

I couldn’t keep my sister from running away.

I couldn’t keep my mom from suffering.

I failed.

And my mind’s been punishing me ever since.

Tying my worth to these dreams, to my ability to SAVE others from DEATH.

But, of course,

Those dreams aren’t reality.

And now, 9 years later, they’re still destroying my confidence.

But, ever since I realized how profoundly this was affecting me,

I started taking the first steps to change.

One night is what it took me to alter my perception.

I sat down in a dark, quiet room,

And I went back.

I put myself through that pain,

I SCREAMED at myself for not being able to save everyone,

I let all the suffering go through me,

And then…I talked to it.

I showed my mind that I’m not the weak kid who wasn’t able to help others.

I’m the incredible motherfucker who, despite his circumstances,

Rose up,

And decided to change his life, completely.

In a matter of some developing years,

I’ve gone from being a dead soul in a young body,

To being a person others come to for help and advice.

I realized that I’m not weak.

And that not controlling, not changing, what is beyond a human’s control isn’t weakness,

It’s called life.

That’s how fast I can solve my problems now,

After years of training my mind.

Of course, I’d still be a fool thinking I closed this chapter.

Every night, I’m still reminding me of the things I told you now.

Why?

Just because my mind understood it,

Doesn’t mean my subconscious has implemented the changes.

I blamed myself for things no human could control,

And I’m willing to bet that, no matter the childhood you had,

You’re blaming yourself as well.

That’s why you don’t think you’re worthy

Of love

Of happiness

Of anything good

Right now, you have to make a choice.

Dive into your sadness

Or

Let it destroy your life.

It will be hard going through that pain again,

But it’s a choice between momentary suffering,

And lifelong destruction.

Which do you prefer?